It is the second Chinese New Year I did not get to celebrate with my Mom. Everytime I see my uncles and aunties sharing and laughing together, it reminds me of her. Is like missing someone in the picture of the family. Still remember how she wait for me back from friends house late at night during Chinese New Year. If anyone in my family found it unpleasant for my late return she will step out and defend for me. She will stay in my room and ask me hows my day, angpow collection good or not and chat up with me the whole night. Now when I come back late during Chinese New Year, everyone is asleep. I guess if I die outside or did make it back home also no one will realize.
"I miss you alot, Mummy for this Chinese New Year".
Today when I was attending my girlfriend's grandma birthday dinner, I can see the enjoyment of her family. Everyone sitting next to their beloved mother and laughing with each other. Her grandma was so happy on the stage accompany by all of her sons, daughters, grandson and granddaughters. During that moment out of sudden my teardrops flowing out from my eye. I am not sad or happy. I just imagine on something that me and my mom cannot share anymore. She will never get to celebrate her birthday anymore with me. "I am sorry Mummy for being unable to give u this moment of joy in your life before".
Today I was reminded by God on the greatest gift I have ever received. Two years back, I was 21st years old. In the cultural of mine, whenever a son or a daughter reaches 21 years-old, parent will give them a necklace or something significant as the sign of reaching maturity and adult. I still remember a moment during my semester break (about two months after my 21st birthday), my mom came and apologized to me because she fail to give me something during my 21st birthday. She cried and said that she is sorry for not making my 21st birthday something special in my life. That time I told her," Is ok. You already gave me the best of everything you had. " Necklace or no necklace you already made my life special. At the end of the conversation I still can sense the sadness in her. Then about two months later, she passed away. The day before moment she passed away, she speak to me through the phone with the last few words, "Dun worry boy, Mummy is ok". Today, my mom has gave me one of the greatest gift that I could ever ask for, a life. The death of her has lead me back to God. My mom has introduced God and Jesus Christ back into my life. She maybe failling in giving me something for my 21st birthday, but she has died to give me everything for the rest of my life. About 8 months after her death, I was baptized. I was blessed and found the true meaning of life. "Mummy, God has promised me that one day we will meet again. For mean time I will keep on growing spritually and this gift you have given to me I will used to bring glory to the God".
*If one I was called by God to step into politics, my manifesto will be bringing glory to God.
2 comments:
Ray, ur article has somehow deeply touched the innermost being of mine, and i believed, possibly of ur very own readership's too.
What made me relieved would be that u managed to accept the unrelenting uncertainties in life,
while what made me delighted would be that u succeeded in overturning it by a more positive, constructive and rejuvenating manner. Happy CNY ^_^
dear,just wanna tell u, you are already a part of my family :)
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