A MeSSage oF ApoLoGy

To start something new in your life was never really easy. We might have a lot of past issues that holding us back to move further. People always say let go of the past and move on. The words of God also taught us to forgive others on past occasions. We should forgive others like how the Father God has forgive us from time to time. At here I would like to share another perspective on moving forward.

Matthew 5: 23-26
"Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.
"Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still with him on the way, or he may hand you over the judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may thrown into prison. I tell you the truth, you will not get out until you have paid the last penny.

What I understand from verses above is that, we must seek forgiveness and understanding from everyone. If we still owe something to someone, be sure we return it even it is just a simple word such as "Sorry". The parable of handling us to judge can be an illustration to what will happen in our life if we ignore the way we treat others. Literally the word "prison" in the verse can mean the punishment. But it also implies us the meaning of living in loneliness. If we stop to care about others feeling it will bring loneliness in our life. People might not longer share their true feeling with us and in some cases it might ended up in a broken relationship. We will remain in loneliness-"The spiritual prison" if we did not admit and "pay" our mistakes with apology to others. So start the first step by paying everyone in your life with an apology because it is the only way we can get back to our life. Always remember, life is more than just about we forgiving others but also we seeking forgiveness from others. Well simple as that, "Give and Take" . Praise God for such wonderful words from Him.

Well as God speak to me, I would like to take this opportunity to say sorry and apologize to everyone that I ever know and those around me. "I am sorry and deepest apology :-

• to you Lord, for everything that I done which against the words of you, Lord. Sorry Lord, for all the sins that I commit and "put" the pain on the cross on you again Jesus Lord. But it never cease you to love me even more. Thank you Father Lord for your continuous blessing, mercy, love, gift, strength and everything that you given to me and your promises.

• to my beloved and forever remember Mother "Mummy" for not being with you as much as I can during your lifetime. Sorry for all the sadness and tears that I ever put you through. Sorry for not being with you at the last moment. Sorry for every words from my mouth that hurt your before and every wonderful praises and thanksgiving that I fail to tell you. I just want you to know that you remain in my heart forever. If there is one thing that I can ask from to keep with forever from God, it would be everything about you, Mummy. Thank you for all the love and support for me from you. No words can define how meaningful and wonderful your present in my life. May you rest in peace in the presence of Lord and see you again when the time comes. I love you Mummy.

• to all my family members for not being a good example and carry out my responsible as a part of this family organization. Sorry for all the worry I put you all through. Sorry to my grandma "Mama" if I ever make you angry and worry about me. I just want say thank you for being with me from the moment I was born till now. To all my uncle's and auntie's thank you for your continuous support, care and love though something I am stubborn towards you all. Sorry to my brother "Titi" for not being good example to you. I am sorry for not taking you as my responsibility. Thank you, Lord for this shelter of love that you gave to me through my family members.
  

• to my dear Ng Kah Yee for all the tears that I put you in this relationship. I am sorry for being so childish sometime. Sorry for all the time I fail to care about you and put you in distance from me. Sorry dear. May our relationship will remain strong and together we grow in the present of God. After for more than 4 years we been together, I still want to say "I Love You".

• to all my school-mates, course-mates, team-mates, university-mates, hometown friends, brothers and sisters in Christ and all my Friends. If you ever wonder whether you are included in my apology, YES YOU ARE. If the initial of your name is between A and Z, Yes you are included. There are a lot of you guys that I wish to name it out here but sorry for not being address you guys one by one. This could me the most number Sorries that I have ever expressed. For all the moments in primary school, secondary school, Form 6, university, church, playing football, living in the same house, hanging out with each other and on all the stuff we participate together I believe there are times or somehow that I being a jerk and troublesome. If there is any particular event or thing that bring discomfort or irritant to anyone of you in particulary from me, please tell me. Let me have the chance to say sorry to you in person. Everything will change including our friendship but let it be the change from strong to stronger all the time.

Kebajikan kami, Pencapaian anda.

Raja memerintah dengan kuasa naungan,
Segalanya berlandaskan akal dan minda,
Kami bukannya "maha-banduan",
Kebajikan kamilah keutamaan anda.

Pantun di atas ingin saya tujukan kepada pihak Hal Ehwal Pelajar Kolej Kediaman E, UMS. Maafkan saya kalau terdapat sebarang kesilapan dalam pengunaan struktur ayat atau tatabahasa. Namun tujuan pantun ini tulis adalah ingin mengingatkan anda semula tentang tanggungjawab anda terhadap pelajar-pelajar yang menghuni di Kolej Kediaman E.

Pada minggu lalu, saya dikhabarkan dengan satu pengumuman yang menyatakan semua penghuni di kolej kediaman E dikehendaki mengosongkan bilik masing-masing semasa cuti semester ini. Mengikut pengetahuan saya, perkara ini adalah susulan hasrat pihak HEP yang ingin menyediakan tempat tinggal bagi peserta-peserta bagi satu acara sukan yang bakal diadakan pada cuti semester ini. Yuran RM5.00 sehari juga akan dikenakan sekirannya pelajar ingin terus menggunakan bilik kediaman.

Mengikut tradisi, pengosongan bilik hanya akan dilakuan pada setiap pengakhiran sesi pembelajaran iaitu setahun sekali. Ini adalah kerana setiap pemohonan untuk mendiami di kolej kediaman adalah untuk tempoh satu sesi pembelajaran. Ya, saya faham bahawa terdapat acara yang akan berlangsung dan tempat tinggal harus disediakan untuk tetamu-tetamu, tetapi jumlah itu hanyalah minoriti. Berdasarkan kapasiti yang sedia ada, perlukah seluruh kolej kediaman dikosongkan? Mungkin setiap rumah hanya satu bilik yang perlu dikosongkan dan tidak semua penghuni akan terjejas. Penghuni yang terjejas juga boleh menumpangkan benda kepunyaan mereka di bilik sebelah. Pihak HEP banyak kerja sangatkah sampai tidak boleh membuat perancangan ini? Orang luar diberi keutamaan dan penghuni-penghuni jagaan anda diabaikan. Bak kata pepatah "Anak di pangku dilepaskan, anak beruk di hutan disusukan". Tolonglah, sedar sedikit tentang kebajikan siapakah yang harus anda utamakan. Setiap tahun diadakan pengundian dan pemilihan JAKMAS tetapi kebajikan diabaikan.

Peraturan dan etika di kolej kediaman juga merupakan salah satu isu di sini. Penghuni-penghuni di kolej kediamaan sering diberi amaran(sampai ada yang dirampas kad matrik) untuk tidak berseluar pendek di kawasan kolej kediaman. Kalau pendek sangat itu saya fahamlah bahawa itu dah keterlaluan. Tapi yang menghairankan seluar pendek yang melepasi paras lutut juga dilarang. Saya sangat betul nak tanya ini kepada pihak HEP, sangat tak senonohkah kalau seseorang itu memakai seluar pendek yang melepasi paras lutut? Itu juga anda kira seksi? Mana lebih tak senonoh, berseluar panjang yang ketat sampai nampak bentuk kaki atau seluar pendek yang melepasi paras lutut yang longgar?
Kalau seseorang itu pakai seluar pendek pergi ke kafe atau pejabat HEP bolehlah diterima kalau dia diberi amaran. Tetapi yang nak keluar ke bandar atau tempat lain yang memakai seluar pendek juga ditahan pihak HEP. Siapakah anda untuk menghalang hak pemakaian orang? Ini merupakan cerita benar dimana pernah sekali kawan saya yang baru balik daripada bandar berseluar pendek menunggang motorsikal disoal pihak HEP. Seluar pendek yang saya maksudkan adalah yang melepasi pihak lutut. Kawan saya menjelaskan bahawa dia balik dari bandar tetapi dia terus diberi amaran. Tidak munasabah langsung.
Mengapa isu pakaian ini saja yang dipandang serius? Bagaimana pula dengan isu seperti merokok di kolej kediaman dan isu kebersihan kafe makanan? Jangan anda kata anda tidak tahu. Selaku pelajar, saya seolah-olah tengah diberitahu bahawa merokok di kolej kediaman bukanlah isu besar. Di luar sana, kerajaan bertungkus-lumus menghapuskan amalan merokok, tetapi di dalam sebuah universiti kerajaan isu ini hanyalah isu remeh. Tunggak pendidikan negara kononnya.

Kad matrik merupakan satu-satunya identiti pengenalan kami di dalam universiti. Kad matrik boleh diumpamakan seperti kad pengenalan bagi seorang rakyat di sesebuah negara. Kalaulah Polis Diraja Malaysia hanya boleh sekadar memeriksa dan menyalin maklumat kad pengenalan kami dan tidak berhak merampas kad pengenalan kami tanpa arahan makhamah, apakah hak pihak HEP untuk merampas kad matrik pelajar?

Akhir kata, bukanlah untuk mencabar atau menjatuhkan sebarang pihak tetapi ini merupakan suara pendapat saya. Kalau benarlah hanya menjalankan tanggungjawab, pastikan di manakah keutamaannya. Sila pastikan peraturan dipatuhi anda dahulu sebelum memastikan orang lain mematuhi peraturan. Penghormatan hanya dapat dikecapi melalui teladan yang baik dan bukannya penindasan atau membuli. Bak kata pepatah " Raja adil raja disembah, raja tak adil raja disanggah".

This Is How it Started.... ARSENAL

ARSENAL
The new season on all Europe elite leagues has started. Well the season of excitement come back again. At least every weekend meet up friends also has something to talk about. Mamak stall finally have the business back on the track. New jersey of respective team can be seen everywhere now. Feel so excited. LOL
Another year, another season. Well same wishes like every other season, I wish Arsenal will blah...blah...blah...... . Seriously I really blah....blah....blah a lot for Arsenal dy. But for for the past 5 years I really tired dy. High hope on every beginning of season, disappointment in every end of season. LOL.

The journey...Arsenal
I first started to watch football was during 1999. That time I was 12 year-old and start to get into this sports. Well, I still remember the first time I play football was during a PJ(Pendidikan Jasmani) lesson. That time I scored a goal and felt so excited about it. (No wonder cannot become professional lah, 12years liao only started to play, Ryan Giggs 12 year-old already signed by Man. Utd......LOL)
During that time, the whole world of football is about Manchester United. Win Treble, got David Beckham, blah...blah..... . Wonder why I did not became Manchester United fans? Actually is the nature of me that resulted me as Arsenal fans. I want to be different from others. That time everyone and and everything is all about Manchester United. So I go for Arsenal, a rare supported top team. I watched their game for the first tme through telecast and Oh gosh, that fella Dennis Bergkamp is formidable. So I really got into their playing style and games. This was how a prototype of Arsenal supporter was formed. LOL. From that time onwards, football is everything to me. I played football almost everyday of my life. Sometime even curse the weather for raining because cannot play. LOL. Me and my friends gathered and formed a small amateur football club, AAFC (I will cover on that next time). We will come together and play together every evening. I still remembered there was a time when my friend damaged my poster of Thierry Henry, Arsenal, I ended up fighting with him. LOL (Mo Siong don't do that again liao,LOL). Every Monday worried about going to school when Arsenal lost, and walked like a King when they won. Debates all the time about how great is Arsenal.LOL. Even the way of myself playing football was fully influenced by the Arsenal style. I love to learn how they play and no doubt Thierry Henry was the one I admired most. As an Arsenal supporter for almost 10 years, I have since the up-climb, peak and down-fall of Arsenal. I seen them won trophies, players in and out, players retired, development of players and disappointment. Is a complete taste of football already that you can ask for (Not to mention club bankruptcy and club relegation <---- Wooi Kuun and Tham is for you, LOL).

Throughout all these time, I can categorized Arsenal squad into three generations.
When I first supported Arsenal, 1st generation , the players were Tony Adams, Lee Dixon, Silvinho, Kanu, and Nicholas Anelka. This generation I have not much to remember because, during that time most of them are either almost retired or some of them did not committed enough and left the club. But there are still some like Ray Parlour, David Seaman and Denis Bergkamp that are well recorded in me.



The 2nd generation, I shall named it the Legend generation. During this generation, the players were Freddie Ljungbeg, Robert Pires, Patrick Vieira, Gilberto Silva, Ashley Cole, Lauren, Sol Campbell, Kolo Toure, Jens Lehnman, Sylvain Wiltord and the "Genius" Dennis Bergkamp. Did I missed out anyone, LOL, Of coz the Thierry "King" Henry. This generation is where most of the success of the club were made under the "Master-Mind" Arsene Wenger. They were once called "The Invincibles"



The 3rd generation were the growing stars, new faces and youngsters. Most these players develop themselves at Arsenal and some are through Arsene Wenger brilliant scouting and evaluation that brought them in through transfer. This generation are also the current Arsenal squad. With the departure of Kolo Toure, marked the total 3rd generation of Gunners. A few names of 3rd generation, Cesc Fabregas, Robin Van Persie, Gael Clichy, Emanuel Almunia, Nicklas Bendtner, Carlos Vela, Aaron Ramsey, Theo Walcott, and many more. Famous name like Andrei Arshavin, Eduardo Da Silva , Samir Nasri and William Gallas (Controversy with Ashley Cole) are those well spotted transfer by Arsene Wenger that make immediate impact to the squad. During the build of new generation, there were some names that used to be a part of Arsenal but due to temptation they left for good. Some of them are doing well and some are doing bad after leaving. Those name I would reckon Alexander Hleb, Mathieu Flamini, Jose Reyes, and Emmanuel Adebayor.





Looking back as an Arsenal supporter, the first proud moments came during the season 2001-2002 where they won the FA Cup and English Premier League. The additive of this sweet moment was that the English Premier League champion title was claimed at the home ground of Manchester United. Then the 2nd consecutive FA Cup winner at the following season. After that season came the most historical success that Arsenal has ever achieved and the world see the best of football in Arsenal. Winner of Barclay's English Premier League 2003-2004 without beaten by any other teams in the league for the entire season. This unbeaten run was extend to 49 league games consecutively. Imagine not losing to any team for 49 matches running (At least no worries of being laugh by other supporters for 1 year. LOL). I think the current Barcelona or Real Madrid also cannot do it. The next season Arsenal won the FA Cup again. So the up-climb and climax peak part are over. Now come the down-fall. After winning the FA Cup in 2005, Arsenal did not won any competition until now (Not to mention pre-season cup). The closest they came was during 2006 where they were beaten in the UEFA Champions League final by Barcelona 2-1. That was actually the first time Arsenal in the European Champions Final (Not to mention UEFA Cup final on 2000). So the waiting still goin on. After a few years of emptiness in the trophy cabinet, I hope they will win back something this season. Arsene Wenger no longer have excuses. They are no longer youngsters. So for this new season of 2009-2010, I hope Arsenal won't left me with another disappointment. I pray hard for it.


Ray@HenRayes@ArshRayvin

To a friend....Sorry

Is kinda weird I say sorry to a friend of mine through blog. Lol. Sounds gay but i guess we both are just too man to confronted each other to know the story behind. Is not a conflict actually,but is just a frustration that I can sense. I am here to admit that is totally my fault and problems. Sorry bro, CY.
When I first step up to this place(UMS), still keep my dream to establish myself as a St John Ambulans member back. No longer just another member but become a qualify officer. After those pathetic moment at my place, I really wish to come here and establish myself back and prove to them I can survive without you guys. "St Anthony, St John Can Survive Anywhere". Most of my friends should have known what happened last time. Not a proud story to share, but a warning to those political minded demons (that claimed to be life saver) that do not simply step on people "tail". History.....
So I came here and thinking how could this work out for me again. For your info, St John Ambulans at here UMS were not well establish yet. With dream comes hope. I meet this guy CY. He is a St John members too. He also got a bit frustration from his previous area in St John Ambulans. So we share our idea of bringing this thing back alive to both of us again. Things work out kinda slow at first, but at last it shows some progressive growing. He works really hard for it and really at that moment I felt that , finally I can achieve what I suppose to be after those undivided devotion that I gave out during my secondary school time. Everything work out quite fine for us in bringing our dream back again. What I appreciate the most is when he told me that he want both of us to hold those higher rank offered. All of his hard work, he still got include me in his plan. Thanks alot bro.
Sorry is all I can say, is a God's calling. As a Christian, I really wanna to become a growing Christian. I just accepted Christ and I want to live in His way now. I do not know what is happening but I guess God speaks to me. Now i really want to committed to my Church. I get all this messages to stay away from all my pride and serve the Lord. I started not to attend meeting and try to avoid him. I remember there was one time he told me tonight got meeting, I end up going to church for a camp committee meeting. He called I do not want to answer. Then all the activities that we've been planned to bring members to St John, I did not attend, instead I went to CF and join church activities. I do not know how to speak to him now but I know he got frustrated of me dy. Well he even tag me as "aeroplane person" in a photo of our coursemate. LOL thats really funny.
CY, just wanna say sorry for all the messed and problems I put in at the last minute exit. I really wish to achieve what I dream of but is not my will to be done, but His will. So I pray that you will find success in bringing St John Ambulans to UMS and achieve your dream. You deserve every credit of it. Sorry and thanks alot bro. ~ Ray Chow

I ask for the Best, I get the Best but I never give the Best

Now I am 22 year-old. In the final year of my studies. Another year less I'll be going into the working environment. Thank God as I manage to make it through over the past few years. Is not the way that I want it to be but based on what I have did I truly believe God has work out the best for me already. As a student, getting to stay inside campus, get to choose own room, nice housemate and roommate, laptop, broadband, enough financial support from family, friends and buddies,...blah....blah.....blah..... I really thank God for all the grace and blessing He gave to me. I ask and I pray, He will either say Yes or Wait (or No if myself also felt ridiculous of it). God really gave me the best for me and I have received the best from Him.
What I concern the most about myself now is, how best have I gave out? I would not say I am those with smart and brilliant mind but I knew He gave me a great mind n wisdom. With what I received, and I had, I supposedly doing much better at where I am now. Final year project pending, assignments delayed, lab works building up, left out in studies, and absentee to classes. This is where I am now. Laziness is my cultural, relaxation is my priority. Pathetic Ray. I know all I need to do now is stay focus in my study only. Such a simple task I also fail to accomplish. My family try their best to support me because they want to take away my worry from me and with the hope that I can stay focus. But I failed. I really disappointed them, especially my grandma. I am sorry. Ever since Mom passed away, Grandma is the one who replace my Mom to me. She will try her best o fulfill my needs and requests. I knew that all of them been really nice to me. God blessing to me again. But I did not try my best to do what am I suppose to do. All I want is to relax and having fun now. How could I be like this? People all around me giving out their best to make sure I have the best but I just use the best I have to become worse.
I just wanna say that I really stress out this time. The fear is building up inside me. I do not how to start now. While I am writing this post, my mind still blank with I suppose to do......