Wednesday, September 2, 2009

I ask for the Best, I get the Best but I never give the Best

Now I am 22 year-old. In the final year of my studies. Another year less I'll be going into the working environment. Thank God as I manage to make it through over the past few years. Is not the way that I want it to be but based on what I have did I truly believe God has work out the best for me already. As a student, getting to stay inside campus, get to choose own room, nice housemate and roommate, laptop, broadband, enough financial support from family, friends and buddies,...blah....blah.....blah..... I really thank God for all the grace and blessing He gave to me. I ask and I pray, He will either say Yes or Wait (or No if myself also felt ridiculous of it). God really gave me the best for me and I have received the best from Him.
What I concern the most about myself now is, how best have I gave out? I would not say I am those with smart and brilliant mind but I knew He gave me a great mind n wisdom. With what I received, and I had, I supposedly doing much better at where I am now. Final year project pending, assignments delayed, lab works building up, left out in studies, and absentee to classes. This is where I am now. Laziness is my cultural, relaxation is my priority. Pathetic Ray. I know all I need to do now is stay focus in my study only. Such a simple task I also fail to accomplish. My family try their best to support me because they want to take away my worry from me and with the hope that I can stay focus. But I failed. I really disappointed them, especially my grandma. I am sorry. Ever since Mom passed away, Grandma is the one who replace my Mom to me. She will try her best o fulfill my needs and requests. I knew that all of them been really nice to me. God blessing to me again. But I did not try my best to do what am I suppose to do. All I want is to relax and having fun now. How could I be like this? People all around me giving out their best to make sure I have the best but I just use the best I have to become worse.
I just wanna say that I really stress out this time. The fear is building up inside me. I do not how to start now. While I am writing this post, my mind still blank with I suppose to do......

1 comments:

【✿艾丝特】 said...

I feel great as u had a lot of good changes now...jia you,Brother..=)