Raja memerintah dengan kuasa naungan,
Segalanya berlandaskan akal dan minda,
Kami bukannya "maha-banduan",
Kebajikan kamilah keutamaan anda.
Pantun di atas ingin saya tujukan kepada pihak Hal Ehwal Pelajar Kolej Kediaman E, UMS. Maafkan saya kalau terdapat sebarang kesilapan dalam pengunaan struktur ayat atau tatabahasa. Namun tujuan pantun ini tulis adalah ingin mengingatkan anda semula tentang tanggungjawab anda terhadap pelajar-pelajar yang menghuni di Kolej Kediaman E.
Pada minggu lalu, saya dikhabarkan dengan satu pengumuman yang menyatakan semua penghuni di kolej kediaman E dikehendaki mengosongkan bilik masing-masing semasa cuti semester ini. Mengikut pengetahuan saya, perkara ini adalah susulan hasrat pihak HEP yang ingin menyediakan tempat tinggal bagi peserta-peserta bagi satu acara sukan yang bakal diadakan pada cuti semester ini. Yuran RM5.00 sehari juga akan dikenakan sekirannya pelajar ingin terus menggunakan bilik kediaman.
Mengikut tradisi, pengosongan bilik hanya akan dilakuan pada setiap pengakhiran sesi pembelajaran iaitu setahun sekali. Ini adalah kerana setiap pemohonan untuk mendiami di kolej kediaman adalah untuk tempoh satu sesi pembelajaran. Ya, saya faham bahawa terdapat acara yang akan berlangsung dan tempat tinggal harus disediakan untuk tetamu-tetamu, tetapi jumlah itu hanyalah minoriti. Berdasarkan kapasiti yang sedia ada, perlukah seluruh kolej kediaman dikosongkan? Mungkin setiap rumah hanya satu bilik yang perlu dikosongkan dan tidak semua penghuni akan terjejas. Penghuni yang terjejas juga boleh menumpangkan benda kepunyaan mereka di bilik sebelah. Pihak HEP banyak kerja sangatkah sampai tidak boleh membuat perancangan ini? Orang luar diberi keutamaan dan penghuni-penghuni jagaan anda diabaikan. Bak kata pepatah "Anak di pangku dilepaskan, anak beruk di hutan disusukan". Tolonglah, sedar sedikit tentang kebajikan siapakah yang harus anda utamakan. Setiap tahun diadakan pengundian dan pemilihan JAKMAS tetapi kebajikan diabaikan.
Peraturan dan etika di kolej kediaman juga merupakan salah satu isu di sini. Penghuni-penghuni di kolej kediamaan sering diberi amaran(sampai ada yang dirampas kad matrik) untuk tidak berseluar pendek di kawasan kolej kediaman. Kalau pendek sangat itu saya fahamlah bahawa itu dah keterlaluan. Tapi yang menghairankan seluar pendek yang melepasi paras lutut juga dilarang. Saya sangat betul nak tanya ini kepada pihak HEP, sangat tak senonohkah kalau seseorang itu memakai seluar pendek yang melepasi paras lutut? Itu juga anda kira seksi? Mana lebih tak senonoh, berseluar panjang yang ketat sampai nampak bentuk kaki atau seluar pendek yang melepasi paras lutut yang longgar?
Kalau seseorang itu pakai seluar pendek pergi ke kafe atau pejabat HEP bolehlah diterima kalau dia diberi amaran. Tetapi yang nak keluar ke bandar atau tempat lain yang memakai seluar pendek juga ditahan pihak HEP. Siapakah anda untuk menghalang hak pemakaian orang? Ini merupakan cerita benar dimana pernah sekali kawan saya yang baru balik daripada bandar berseluar pendek menunggang motorsikal disoal pihak HEP. Seluar pendek yang saya maksudkan adalah yang melepasi pihak lutut. Kawan saya menjelaskan bahawa dia balik dari bandar tetapi dia terus diberi amaran. Tidak munasabah langsung.
Mengapa isu pakaian ini saja yang dipandang serius? Bagaimana pula dengan isu seperti merokok di kolej kediaman dan isu kebersihan kafe makanan? Jangan anda kata anda tidak tahu. Selaku pelajar, saya seolah-olah tengah diberitahu bahawa merokok di kolej kediaman bukanlah isu besar. Di luar sana, kerajaan bertungkus-lumus menghapuskan amalan merokok, tetapi di dalam sebuah universiti kerajaan isu ini hanyalah isu remeh. Tunggak pendidikan negara kononnya.
Kad matrik merupakan satu-satunya identiti pengenalan kami di dalam universiti. Kad matrik boleh diumpamakan seperti kad pengenalan bagi seorang rakyat di sesebuah negara. Kalaulah Polis Diraja Malaysia hanya boleh sekadar memeriksa dan menyalin maklumat kad pengenalan kami dan tidak berhak merampas kad pengenalan kami tanpa arahan makhamah, apakah hak pihak HEP untuk merampas kad matrik pelajar?
Akhir kata, bukanlah untuk mencabar atau menjatuhkan sebarang pihak tetapi ini merupakan suara pendapat saya. Kalau benarlah hanya menjalankan tanggungjawab, pastikan di manakah keutamaannya. Sila pastikan peraturan dipatuhi anda dahulu sebelum memastikan orang lain mematuhi peraturan. Penghormatan hanya dapat dikecapi melalui teladan yang baik dan bukannya penindasan atau membuli. Bak kata pepatah " Raja adil raja disembah, raja tak adil raja disanggah".
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Thursday, September 3, 2009
This Is How it Started.... ARSENAL
ARSENAL
The new season on all Europe elite leagues has started. Well the season of excitement come back again. At least every weekend meet up friends also has something to talk about. Mamak stall finally have the business back on the track. New jersey of respective team can be seen everywhere now. Feel so excited. LOL
Another year, another season. Well same wishes like every other season, I wish Arsenal will blah...blah...blah...... . Seriously I really blah....blah....blah a lot for Arsenal dy. But for for the past 5 years I really tired dy. High hope on every beginning of season, disappointment in every end of season. LOL.
The journey...Arsenal
I first started to watch football was during 1999. That time I was 12 year-old and start to get into this sports. Well, I still remember the first time I play football was during a PJ(Pendidikan Jasmani) lesson. That time I scored a goal and felt so excited about it. (No wonder cannot become professional lah, 12years liao only started to play, Ryan Giggs 12 year-old already signed by Man. Utd......LOL)
During that time, the whole world of football is about Manchester United. Win Treble, got David Beckham, blah...blah..... . Wonder why I did not became Manchester United fans? Actually is the nature of me that resulted me as Arsenal fans. I want to be different from others. That time everyone and and everything is all about Manchester United. So I go for Arsenal, a rare supported top team. I watched their game for the first tme through telecast and Oh gosh, that fella Dennis Bergkamp is formidable. So I really got into their playing style and games. This was how a prototype of Arsenal supporter was formed. LOL. From that time onwards, football is everything to me. I played football almost everyday of my life. Sometime even curse the weather for raining because cannot play. LOL. Me and my friends gathered and formed a small amateur football club, AAFC (I will cover on that next time). We will come together and play together every evening. I still remembered there was a time when my friend damaged my poster of Thierry Henry, Arsenal, I ended up fighting with him. LOL (Mo Siong don't do that again liao,LOL). Every Monday worried about going to school when Arsenal lost, and walked like a King when they won. Debates all the time about how great is Arsenal.LOL. Even the way of myself playing football was fully influenced by the Arsenal style. I love to learn how they play and no doubt Thierry Henry was the one I admired most. As an Arsenal supporter for almost 10 years, I have since the up-climb, peak and down-fall of Arsenal. I seen them won trophies, players in and out, players retired, development of players and disappointment. Is a complete taste of football already that you can ask for (Not to mention club bankruptcy and club relegation <---- Wooi Kuun and Tham is for you, LOL).
Throughout all these time, I can categorized Arsenal squad into three generations.
When I first supported Arsenal, 1st generation , the players were Tony Adams, Lee Dixon, Silvinho, Kanu, and Nicholas Anelka. This generation I have not much to remember because, during that time most of them are either almost retired or some of them did not committed enough and left the club. But there are still some like Ray Parlour, David Seaman and Denis Bergkamp that are well recorded in me.
The 2nd generation, I shall named it the Legend generation. During this generation, the players were Freddie Ljungbeg, Robert Pires, Patrick Vieira, Gilberto Silva, Ashley Cole, Lauren, Sol Campbell, Kolo Toure, Jens Lehnman, Sylvain Wiltord and the "Genius" Dennis Bergkamp. Did I missed out anyone, LOL, Of coz the Thierry "King" Henry. This generation is where most of the success of the club were made under the "Master-Mind" Arsene Wenger. They were once called "The Invincibles"
The 3rd generation were the growing stars, new faces and youngsters. Most these players develop themselves at Arsenal and some are through Arsene Wenger brilliant scouting and evaluation that brought them in through transfer. This generation are also the current Arsenal squad. With the departure of Kolo Toure, marked the total 3rd generation of Gunners. A few names of 3rd generation, Cesc Fabregas, Robin Van Persie, Gael Clichy, Emanuel Almunia, Nicklas Bendtner, Carlos Vela, Aaron Ramsey, Theo Walcott, and many more. Famous name like Andrei Arshavin, Eduardo Da Silva , Samir Nasri and William Gallas (Controversy with Ashley Cole) are those well spotted transfer by Arsene Wenger that make immediate impact to the squad. During the build of new generation, there were some names that used to be a part of Arsenal but due to temptation they left for good. Some of them are doing well and some are doing bad after leaving. Those name I would reckon Alexander Hleb, Mathieu Flamini, Jose Reyes, and Emmanuel Adebayor.
Looking back as an Arsenal supporter, the first proud moments came during the season 2001-2002 where they won the FA Cup and English Premier League. The additive of this sweet moment was that the English Premier League champion title was claimed at the home ground of Manchester United. Then the 2nd consecutive FA Cup winner at the following season. After that season came the most historical success that Arsenal has ever achieved and the world see the best of football in Arsenal. Winner of Barclay's English Premier League 2003-2004 without beaten by any other teams in the league for the entire season. This unbeaten run was extend to 49 league games consecutively. Imagine not losing to any team for 49 matches running (At least no worries of being laugh by other supporters for 1 year. LOL). I think the current Barcelona or Real Madrid also cannot do it. The next season Arsenal won the FA Cup again. So the up-climb and climax peak part are over. Now come the down-fall. After winning the FA Cup in 2005, Arsenal did not won any competition until now (Not to mention pre-season cup). The closest they came was during 2006 where they were beaten in the UEFA Champions League final by Barcelona 2-1. That was actually the first time Arsenal in the European Champions Final (Not to mention UEFA Cup final on 2000). So the waiting still goin on. After a few years of emptiness in the trophy cabinet, I hope they will win back something this season. Arsene Wenger no longer have excuses. They are no longer youngsters. So for this new season of 2009-2010, I hope Arsenal won't left me with another disappointment. I pray hard for it.
Ray@HenRayes@ArshRayvin
The new season on all Europe elite leagues has started. Well the season of excitement come back again. At least every weekend meet up friends also has something to talk about. Mamak stall finally have the business back on the track. New jersey of respective team can be seen everywhere now. Feel so excited. LOL
Another year, another season. Well same wishes like every other season, I wish Arsenal will blah...blah...blah...... . Seriously I really blah....blah....blah a lot for Arsenal dy. But for for the past 5 years I really tired dy. High hope on every beginning of season, disappointment in every end of season. LOL.
The journey...Arsenal
I first started to watch football was during 1999. That time I was 12 year-old and start to get into this sports. Well, I still remember the first time I play football was during a PJ(Pendidikan Jasmani) lesson. That time I scored a goal and felt so excited about it. (No wonder cannot become professional lah, 12years liao only started to play, Ryan Giggs 12 year-old already signed by Man. Utd......LOL)
During that time, the whole world of football is about Manchester United. Win Treble, got David Beckham, blah...blah..... . Wonder why I did not became Manchester United fans? Actually is the nature of me that resulted me as Arsenal fans. I want to be different from others. That time everyone and and everything is all about Manchester United. So I go for Arsenal, a rare supported top team. I watched their game for the first tme through telecast and Oh gosh, that fella Dennis Bergkamp is formidable. So I really got into their playing style and games. This was how a prototype of Arsenal supporter was formed. LOL. From that time onwards, football is everything to me. I played football almost everyday of my life. Sometime even curse the weather for raining because cannot play. LOL. Me and my friends gathered and formed a small amateur football club, AAFC (I will cover on that next time). We will come together and play together every evening. I still remembered there was a time when my friend damaged my poster of Thierry Henry, Arsenal, I ended up fighting with him. LOL (Mo Siong don't do that again liao,LOL). Every Monday worried about going to school when Arsenal lost, and walked like a King when they won. Debates all the time about how great is Arsenal.LOL. Even the way of myself playing football was fully influenced by the Arsenal style. I love to learn how they play and no doubt Thierry Henry was the one I admired most. As an Arsenal supporter for almost 10 years, I have since the up-climb, peak and down-fall of Arsenal. I seen them won trophies, players in and out, players retired, development of players and disappointment. Is a complete taste of football already that you can ask for (Not to mention club bankruptcy and club relegation <---- Wooi Kuun and Tham is for you, LOL).
Throughout all these time, I can categorized Arsenal squad into three generations.
When I first supported Arsenal, 1st generation , the players were Tony Adams, Lee Dixon, Silvinho, Kanu, and Nicholas Anelka. This generation I have not much to remember because, during that time most of them are either almost retired or some of them did not committed enough and left the club. But there are still some like Ray Parlour, David Seaman and Denis Bergkamp that are well recorded in me.
The 2nd generation, I shall named it the Legend generation. During this generation, the players were Freddie Ljungbeg, Robert Pires, Patrick Vieira, Gilberto Silva, Ashley Cole, Lauren, Sol Campbell, Kolo Toure, Jens Lehnman, Sylvain Wiltord and the "Genius" Dennis Bergkamp. Did I missed out anyone, LOL, Of coz the Thierry "King" Henry. This generation is where most of the success of the club were made under the "Master-Mind" Arsene Wenger. They were once called "The Invincibles"
The 3rd generation were the growing stars, new faces and youngsters. Most these players develop themselves at Arsenal and some are through Arsene Wenger brilliant scouting and evaluation that brought them in through transfer. This generation are also the current Arsenal squad. With the departure of Kolo Toure, marked the total 3rd generation of Gunners. A few names of 3rd generation, Cesc Fabregas, Robin Van Persie, Gael Clichy, Emanuel Almunia, Nicklas Bendtner, Carlos Vela, Aaron Ramsey, Theo Walcott, and many more. Famous name like Andrei Arshavin, Eduardo Da Silva , Samir Nasri and William Gallas (Controversy with Ashley Cole) are those well spotted transfer by Arsene Wenger that make immediate impact to the squad. During the build of new generation, there were some names that used to be a part of Arsenal but due to temptation they left for good. Some of them are doing well and some are doing bad after leaving. Those name I would reckon Alexander Hleb, Mathieu Flamini, Jose Reyes, and Emmanuel Adebayor.
Looking back as an Arsenal supporter, the first proud moments came during the season 2001-2002 where they won the FA Cup and English Premier League. The additive of this sweet moment was that the English Premier League champion title was claimed at the home ground of Manchester United. Then the 2nd consecutive FA Cup winner at the following season. After that season came the most historical success that Arsenal has ever achieved and the world see the best of football in Arsenal. Winner of Barclay's English Premier League 2003-2004 without beaten by any other teams in the league for the entire season. This unbeaten run was extend to 49 league games consecutively. Imagine not losing to any team for 49 matches running (At least no worries of being laugh by other supporters for 1 year. LOL). I think the current Barcelona or Real Madrid also cannot do it. The next season Arsenal won the FA Cup again. So the up-climb and climax peak part are over. Now come the down-fall. After winning the FA Cup in 2005, Arsenal did not won any competition until now (Not to mention pre-season cup). The closest they came was during 2006 where they were beaten in the UEFA Champions League final by Barcelona 2-1. That was actually the first time Arsenal in the European Champions Final (Not to mention UEFA Cup final on 2000). So the waiting still goin on. After a few years of emptiness in the trophy cabinet, I hope they will win back something this season. Arsene Wenger no longer have excuses. They are no longer youngsters. So for this new season of 2009-2010, I hope Arsenal won't left me with another disappointment. I pray hard for it.
Ray@HenRayes@ArshRayvin
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
To a friend....Sorry
Is kinda weird I say sorry to a friend of mine through blog. Lol. Sounds gay but i guess we both are just too man to confronted each other to know the story behind. Is not a conflict actually,but is just a frustration that I can sense. I am here to admit that is totally my fault and problems. Sorry bro, CY.
When I first step up to this place(UMS), still keep my dream to establish myself as a St John Ambulans member back. No longer just another member but become a qualify officer. After those pathetic moment at my place, I really wish to come here and establish myself back and prove to them I can survive without you guys. "St Anthony, St John Can Survive Anywhere". Most of my friends should have known what happened last time. Not a proud story to share, but a warning to those political minded demons (that claimed to be life saver) that do not simply step on people "tail". History.....
So I came here and thinking how could this work out for me again. For your info, St John Ambulans at here UMS were not well establish yet. With dream comes hope. I meet this guy CY. He is a St John members too. He also got a bit frustration from his previous area in St John Ambulans. So we share our idea of bringing this thing back alive to both of us again. Things work out kinda slow at first, but at last it shows some progressive growing. He works really hard for it and really at that moment I felt that , finally I can achieve what I suppose to be after those undivided devotion that I gave out during my secondary school time. Everything work out quite fine for us in bringing our dream back again. What I appreciate the most is when he told me that he want both of us to hold those higher rank offered. All of his hard work, he still got include me in his plan. Thanks alot bro.
Sorry is all I can say, is a God's calling. As a Christian, I really wanna to become a growing Christian. I just accepted Christ and I want to live in His way now. I do not know what is happening but I guess God speaks to me. Now i really want to committed to my Church. I get all this messages to stay away from all my pride and serve the Lord. I started not to attend meeting and try to avoid him. I remember there was one time he told me tonight got meeting, I end up going to church for a camp committee meeting. He called I do not want to answer. Then all the activities that we've been planned to bring members to St John, I did not attend, instead I went to CF and join church activities. I do not know how to speak to him now but I know he got frustrated of me dy. Well he even tag me as "aeroplane person" in a photo of our coursemate. LOL thats really funny.
CY, just wanna say sorry for all the messed and problems I put in at the last minute exit. I really wish to achieve what I dream of but is not my will to be done, but His will. So I pray that you will find success in bringing St John Ambulans to UMS and achieve your dream. You deserve every credit of it. Sorry and thanks alot bro. ~ Ray Chow
When I first step up to this place(UMS), still keep my dream to establish myself as a St John Ambulans member back. No longer just another member but become a qualify officer. After those pathetic moment at my place, I really wish to come here and establish myself back and prove to them I can survive without you guys. "St Anthony, St John Can Survive Anywhere". Most of my friends should have known what happened last time. Not a proud story to share, but a warning to those political minded demons (that claimed to be life saver) that do not simply step on people "tail". History.....
So I came here and thinking how could this work out for me again. For your info, St John Ambulans at here UMS were not well establish yet. With dream comes hope. I meet this guy CY. He is a St John members too. He also got a bit frustration from his previous area in St John Ambulans. So we share our idea of bringing this thing back alive to both of us again. Things work out kinda slow at first, but at last it shows some progressive growing. He works really hard for it and really at that moment I felt that , finally I can achieve what I suppose to be after those undivided devotion that I gave out during my secondary school time. Everything work out quite fine for us in bringing our dream back again. What I appreciate the most is when he told me that he want both of us to hold those higher rank offered. All of his hard work, he still got include me in his plan. Thanks alot bro.
Sorry is all I can say, is a God's calling. As a Christian, I really wanna to become a growing Christian. I just accepted Christ and I want to live in His way now. I do not know what is happening but I guess God speaks to me. Now i really want to committed to my Church. I get all this messages to stay away from all my pride and serve the Lord. I started not to attend meeting and try to avoid him. I remember there was one time he told me tonight got meeting, I end up going to church for a camp committee meeting. He called I do not want to answer. Then all the activities that we've been planned to bring members to St John, I did not attend, instead I went to CF and join church activities. I do not know how to speak to him now but I know he got frustrated of me dy. Well he even tag me as "aeroplane person" in a photo of our coursemate. LOL thats really funny.
CY, just wanna say sorry for all the messed and problems I put in at the last minute exit. I really wish to achieve what I dream of but is not my will to be done, but His will. So I pray that you will find success in bringing St John Ambulans to UMS and achieve your dream. You deserve every credit of it. Sorry and thanks alot bro. ~ Ray Chow
I ask for the Best, I get the Best but I never give the Best
Now I am 22 year-old. In the final year of my studies. Another year less I'll be going into the working environment. Thank God as I manage to make it through over the past few years. Is not the way that I want it to be but based on what I have did I truly believe God has work out the best for me already. As a student, getting to stay inside campus, get to choose own room, nice housemate and roommate, laptop, broadband, enough financial support from family, friends and buddies,...blah....blah.....blah..... I really thank God for all the grace and blessing He gave to me. I ask and I pray, He will either say Yes or Wait (or No if myself also felt ridiculous of it). God really gave me the best for me and I have received the best from Him.
What I concern the most about myself now is, how best have I gave out? I would not say I am those with smart and brilliant mind but I knew He gave me a great mind n wisdom. With what I received, and I had, I supposedly doing much better at where I am now. Final year project pending, assignments delayed, lab works building up, left out in studies, and absentee to classes. This is where I am now. Laziness is my cultural, relaxation is my priority. Pathetic Ray. I know all I need to do now is stay focus in my study only. Such a simple task I also fail to accomplish. My family try their best to support me because they want to take away my worry from me and with the hope that I can stay focus. But I failed. I really disappointed them, especially my grandma. I am sorry. Ever since Mom passed away, Grandma is the one who replace my Mom to me. She will try her best o fulfill my needs and requests. I knew that all of them been really nice to me. God blessing to me again. But I did not try my best to do what am I suppose to do. All I want is to relax and having fun now. How could I be like this? People all around me giving out their best to make sure I have the best but I just use the best I have to become worse.
I just wanna say that I really stress out this time. The fear is building up inside me. I do not how to start now. While I am writing this post, my mind still blank with I suppose to do......
What I concern the most about myself now is, how best have I gave out? I would not say I am those with smart and brilliant mind but I knew He gave me a great mind n wisdom. With what I received, and I had, I supposedly doing much better at where I am now. Final year project pending, assignments delayed, lab works building up, left out in studies, and absentee to classes. This is where I am now. Laziness is my cultural, relaxation is my priority. Pathetic Ray. I know all I need to do now is stay focus in my study only. Such a simple task I also fail to accomplish. My family try their best to support me because they want to take away my worry from me and with the hope that I can stay focus. But I failed. I really disappointed them, especially my grandma. I am sorry. Ever since Mom passed away, Grandma is the one who replace my Mom to me. She will try her best o fulfill my needs and requests. I knew that all of them been really nice to me. God blessing to me again. But I did not try my best to do what am I suppose to do. All I want is to relax and having fun now. How could I be like this? People all around me giving out their best to make sure I have the best but I just use the best I have to become worse.
I just wanna say that I really stress out this time. The fear is building up inside me. I do not how to start now. While I am writing this post, my mind still blank with I suppose to do......
Sunday, June 21, 2009
To my Dad
Happy Father's Day? This day was never in my life anymore.Ever since 2005 i did not see u anymore. I don't know why u rather let your pride and your anger to take over you than the love of our family. Why you have to make everything seems like no way back? Why our family have to go until this way? Is this what you want? You know how I felt when I have to witness my own father left us and my mother passed away. You don't know. Not even a moment in your life.
At that moment I know everything seems like going against us. You got stroke. Mom got heart disease. We faced financial difficulties. But why we can't we stay together and overcome it together. Mom never gave up. She knew she is sick but yet she never gives up on brother and me. Yet she still love all of us with all her heart. She went to work to support the family. She is tired but yet the smile on her face will always be there. But why U have to be so irrational. Why everything that happened u need something or someone to be blamed? In our family you are the eldest, the one with the most taste of life but why u never be the example to us. I still remembered what happened the night before you left us. You, mom and brother went for supper. I was sleeping because I got class the next day. Early in the morning, about 3am I heard noises someone yelling and drove away the car. I awake ask mom what happened and she told me your father was angry with your brother because he did not want to eat vegetable. I say WHAT? After a week, it was Chinese New Year. It was the first day of Chinese New Year. I went to find you and beg you to come back to us. Forget everything and start all over again. No one to be sad in the first day of CNY. But yet you are so stubborn. U never want to listen. You just want to make everyone to have a gloomy CNY. I tell u i was really sad that time. The first time ever in my life I celebrated CNY without my both parent together with me.
A week later, I was in friend's house. Out of sudden I received a call from brother that you were back into home and beat mom. I rushed go back and I saw you holding helmet. I go in without hesitation push you away and take a knife chased you out from the house. I knew you are angry with me because I was acting disrespect to you and push you. But let me tell you this, in my whole life that time i will never ever tolerate anyone who hurts mom. Not even you Dad. You are a man. You are hurting a sick woman. And she is your wife. No doubt being rude to a father is wrong but hurting my mom never makes you my father. I did felt sorry for my act that night but i still cannot accept the fact that you hit mom. You said there was a guy outside the house and accused mom having affair with him. I told you already I knew that guy and his been the friend of mom, brother and me. You completely out of your mind already that time. You even accused mom having affair with uncle just because he was there to stop you from beating mom.
You asked me why I sided on mom and never on you. Is not about which side i support but is the fact you are wrong. First, no matter how righteous and innocent you are but once you beat mom i cannot tolerate. Secondly, from beginning till end is only you are the one who acting unreasonable. How u expect me to sided on you. Thirdly, if i really sided on mom is also a decision of me to make. From the day I was born, I was raised by mom and her family side. You also knew how troublesome your siblings and grandma, the mother of you. Always giving hard days to mom. I never ever tasted even a single molecule of love from the truly CHOW family of mine though I am CHOW too. But it never bother my mind at all because I knew my mom loves me more than anyone she ever do. Give me a reason for me to stand on your side please. I was born with CHOW surname but I was raised by the LEE. What i knew about my CHOW family is anger and hatred. But I was educated by LEE. This is where i received love.
You accused mom having affair. You say people told u many shits about mom. Let me ask u this Mr Chow Kar Eng, Are you rather listen to those outsider than your wife and both of your son.? You say u never believe in them but why you still accused mom. Why the things you say and the things you do is not the same? Ask yourself who is truly love you and your family? Are those outsider or us? Ask yourself also how many affair and disloyalty you've been having during that time you at Sabah. Even till one day when I was kid U brought the woman back. Don't give me excuses of all these shits. I have my eyes to see and my brain to think what you did. But does Mom ever leave you and the family. Think la old men. I really pissed off when i have to come to think about this.
After so many things happened, Mom really disappointed on you. She is sad I can tell you this. But yet you still trying to give her hard time from time-time. Threatened her. Make her scared of you. Let me tell you this in case you don't know. Mom never scared of you hurting her. She just worried about both of brother and me. The main reason she afraid to divorce with you is because she worried you might bring your anger to both of her sons. She is sick but yet she have to live in the worries. Not because of herself but her son. That time I just finished my form 6 . I told Mom that time I might not get offer to further my studies. She ask me to find college and enroll first. Just in case if did not get any offer. You Chow Kar Eng, u know how burdened to support a son to study in college with salary around RM800 monthly. But she did not complaint or say no to me. But Thank God I got offer from local university. She was so proud and try her best to get me there. Where are you that time? Every expenditure from sending me to college, buying my university's necessity, air flight tickets and everything she try her best and gave it to me. Any single cent from you? Any single encouragement from you? You still call yourself a father of mine?
When I was in University, one night mom called up me and told that u came. She said she dare not to let you in. Then after a few days later u called up me and said that the wife of you did not let her very own husband go into house. I tell you this. Is my idea to ask her do not let you in. She is just a woman. U hurt her once. You still expect her to let u come near. Then you start to threatened me to all those out of mind things. You say you will hurt her or maybe even killed her if have to. Whats the point of you saying those things? Trying to show us that you are a strong man. That time I told you wait me come back and have a talk in a nice way. I just do not want you to do anything to mom and brother. But u still threatened us. I really just pray nothing will happened.
But now and forever I would not have my family back again already. Because Mom has left us. The one that I loved and loved me the most is no longer with me. She had suffer alot. She had to suffer with he sick and look after me and brother. And you from time time keep on bringing her fear and worries. WHAT THE FUCK YOU WANT MR CHOW KAR ENG!!!! She died because she is too sad of you. During her funeral you never even came and her pay her last respect. SHE IS YOUR WIFE. Where are you that time? You told aunty that you are sad. Why you sad? Why u try to kill her and on the other hand you are sad? WHY!!! Now thanks to you I will never have parent for Chinese New Year celebration for the rest of my life.
Every single expenditure of Mom's funeral is from Mom's siblings. You never spent a cent also. You know how hard is that time for me.
I was in my second year. I have my own financial instability for my studies. Then i have to come back and handle my mom's funeral. Did i ever ask from you? But Mom left her EPF and her savings for both of us brother. Before even she passed away, she got told me that the EPF savings has named me and brother as the beneficiaries. Because she insisted those money is for us in the future. But when we went and checked the system said no naming has be done yet. Mom's death has already left you with the benefits from SOCSO where you can receive RM 300 over every month till you die. I am not entitled to get this because i already over 21 years old. brother can only receive rm 100 something every month before he reach 21 years old. What else do you want? All of these things you get just because she haven't divorce with you in black and white. I never even question or try to stop you having those benefits. But deep inside your heart Mr Chow Kar Eng ask yourself, do you really have the right on those money? But why you have to create so many difficulties to me. Now I need to do is to get those money in Mom's EPF and savings out. And i need you to sign a document for me. Just like that. Once i collected the money I will still divide a portion of it to u because you are entitled to it legally. You promised you will but now u say dun wan to sign anymore. You blamed me go and do the procedure and written a letter in front of the Commissioner of Oath without your permission. First of all why do i need to get your permission. This is mom belongings is not yours. Who the hell you think you are? Secondly everything i written in the letter of the Commission of Oath is true. Indeed you really quarrel with mom and left family and did not contact us. I still got keep a copy of that letter. Come and read it out loud and i will testify every words inside of that letter with the truth. The savings is what Mom's last wishes on both of her sons. She want us to have that money because she knew that was the best she can ever gave to both of us brother. Every single expenditure of her funeral from the coffin and the land to buried her, everything is from the effort of me. You did not even spent a cent and now you wanna come and ask for your part. Are you still a man?
Every father in this world try to give their best for their son. They love their son more than anything. But I don't know why you will envy of your own son. You told me after mom death u did not get anything. How about those SOCSO benefits you get? WHAT DA HECK ARE YOU SAYING?!!!
That day you called up me and told me all the old stories. How mom did badly towards you. I am angry but yet still stay calm. I have accepted Christ. I did want to have argument with you. Mom already no longer in this world. As long I knew love her and everyone in this world that she have touched on will remembered of her is already enough for me. I beg you as a son to ask a mercy from you as a father to sign. But you push to the limit. You said u will come back and whack me even kill me if have to because I being rude to you. Mr Chow Kar Eng , if u are reading this blog please keep in mind now. Last time I am afraid you because of Mom. But now she is no longer i need to worry because She is with my Lord now. 10 years ago if u threatened to hurt i might fear but now please do not test my anger. Remember we share the same blood. The anger and strength in you are also in my blood. I am stronger and free now. Now as i say I am living in God's way. I will not use violence against you. But please i beg you DO NOT TEST MY ANGER. You are 49 years old now. I am 22. Do not think that you are still strong and dominance on us. The only person I fear now is God and My Lord Jesus Christ.
"Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret-it leads only to evil"
Psalm 37:8
At that moment I know everything seems like going against us. You got stroke. Mom got heart disease. We faced financial difficulties. But why we can't we stay together and overcome it together. Mom never gave up. She knew she is sick but yet she never gives up on brother and me. Yet she still love all of us with all her heart. She went to work to support the family. She is tired but yet the smile on her face will always be there. But why U have to be so irrational. Why everything that happened u need something or someone to be blamed? In our family you are the eldest, the one with the most taste of life but why u never be the example to us. I still remembered what happened the night before you left us. You, mom and brother went for supper. I was sleeping because I got class the next day. Early in the morning, about 3am I heard noises someone yelling and drove away the car. I awake ask mom what happened and she told me your father was angry with your brother because he did not want to eat vegetable. I say WHAT? After a week, it was Chinese New Year. It was the first day of Chinese New Year. I went to find you and beg you to come back to us. Forget everything and start all over again. No one to be sad in the first day of CNY. But yet you are so stubborn. U never want to listen. You just want to make everyone to have a gloomy CNY. I tell u i was really sad that time. The first time ever in my life I celebrated CNY without my both parent together with me.
A week later, I was in friend's house. Out of sudden I received a call from brother that you were back into home and beat mom. I rushed go back and I saw you holding helmet. I go in without hesitation push you away and take a knife chased you out from the house. I knew you are angry with me because I was acting disrespect to you and push you. But let me tell you this, in my whole life that time i will never ever tolerate anyone who hurts mom. Not even you Dad. You are a man. You are hurting a sick woman. And she is your wife. No doubt being rude to a father is wrong but hurting my mom never makes you my father. I did felt sorry for my act that night but i still cannot accept the fact that you hit mom. You said there was a guy outside the house and accused mom having affair with him. I told you already I knew that guy and his been the friend of mom, brother and me. You completely out of your mind already that time. You even accused mom having affair with uncle just because he was there to stop you from beating mom.
You asked me why I sided on mom and never on you. Is not about which side i support but is the fact you are wrong. First, no matter how righteous and innocent you are but once you beat mom i cannot tolerate. Secondly, from beginning till end is only you are the one who acting unreasonable. How u expect me to sided on you. Thirdly, if i really sided on mom is also a decision of me to make. From the day I was born, I was raised by mom and her family side. You also knew how troublesome your siblings and grandma, the mother of you. Always giving hard days to mom. I never ever tasted even a single molecule of love from the truly CHOW family of mine though I am CHOW too. But it never bother my mind at all because I knew my mom loves me more than anyone she ever do. Give me a reason for me to stand on your side please. I was born with CHOW surname but I was raised by the LEE. What i knew about my CHOW family is anger and hatred. But I was educated by LEE. This is where i received love.
You accused mom having affair. You say people told u many shits about mom. Let me ask u this Mr Chow Kar Eng, Are you rather listen to those outsider than your wife and both of your son.? You say u never believe in them but why you still accused mom. Why the things you say and the things you do is not the same? Ask yourself who is truly love you and your family? Are those outsider or us? Ask yourself also how many affair and disloyalty you've been having during that time you at Sabah. Even till one day when I was kid U brought the woman back. Don't give me excuses of all these shits. I have my eyes to see and my brain to think what you did. But does Mom ever leave you and the family. Think la old men. I really pissed off when i have to come to think about this.
After so many things happened, Mom really disappointed on you. She is sad I can tell you this. But yet you still trying to give her hard time from time-time. Threatened her. Make her scared of you. Let me tell you this in case you don't know. Mom never scared of you hurting her. She just worried about both of brother and me. The main reason she afraid to divorce with you is because she worried you might bring your anger to both of her sons. She is sick but yet she have to live in the worries. Not because of herself but her son. That time I just finished my form 6 . I told Mom that time I might not get offer to further my studies. She ask me to find college and enroll first. Just in case if did not get any offer. You Chow Kar Eng, u know how burdened to support a son to study in college with salary around RM800 monthly. But she did not complaint or say no to me. But Thank God I got offer from local university. She was so proud and try her best to get me there. Where are you that time? Every expenditure from sending me to college, buying my university's necessity, air flight tickets and everything she try her best and gave it to me. Any single cent from you? Any single encouragement from you? You still call yourself a father of mine?
When I was in University, one night mom called up me and told that u came. She said she dare not to let you in. Then after a few days later u called up me and said that the wife of you did not let her very own husband go into house. I tell you this. Is my idea to ask her do not let you in. She is just a woman. U hurt her once. You still expect her to let u come near. Then you start to threatened me to all those out of mind things. You say you will hurt her or maybe even killed her if have to. Whats the point of you saying those things? Trying to show us that you are a strong man. That time I told you wait me come back and have a talk in a nice way. I just do not want you to do anything to mom and brother. But u still threatened us. I really just pray nothing will happened.
But now and forever I would not have my family back again already. Because Mom has left us. The one that I loved and loved me the most is no longer with me. She had suffer alot. She had to suffer with he sick and look after me and brother. And you from time time keep on bringing her fear and worries. WHAT THE FUCK YOU WANT MR CHOW KAR ENG!!!! She died because she is too sad of you. During her funeral you never even came and her pay her last respect. SHE IS YOUR WIFE. Where are you that time? You told aunty that you are sad. Why you sad? Why u try to kill her and on the other hand you are sad? WHY!!! Now thanks to you I will never have parent for Chinese New Year celebration for the rest of my life.
Every single expenditure of Mom's funeral is from Mom's siblings. You never spent a cent also. You know how hard is that time for me.
I was in my second year. I have my own financial instability for my studies. Then i have to come back and handle my mom's funeral. Did i ever ask from you? But Mom left her EPF and her savings for both of us brother. Before even she passed away, she got told me that the EPF savings has named me and brother as the beneficiaries. Because she insisted those money is for us in the future. But when we went and checked the system said no naming has be done yet. Mom's death has already left you with the benefits from SOCSO where you can receive RM 300 over every month till you die. I am not entitled to get this because i already over 21 years old. brother can only receive rm 100 something every month before he reach 21 years old. What else do you want? All of these things you get just because she haven't divorce with you in black and white. I never even question or try to stop you having those benefits. But deep inside your heart Mr Chow Kar Eng ask yourself, do you really have the right on those money? But why you have to create so many difficulties to me. Now I need to do is to get those money in Mom's EPF and savings out. And i need you to sign a document for me. Just like that. Once i collected the money I will still divide a portion of it to u because you are entitled to it legally. You promised you will but now u say dun wan to sign anymore. You blamed me go and do the procedure and written a letter in front of the Commissioner of Oath without your permission. First of all why do i need to get your permission. This is mom belongings is not yours. Who the hell you think you are? Secondly everything i written in the letter of the Commission of Oath is true. Indeed you really quarrel with mom and left family and did not contact us. I still got keep a copy of that letter. Come and read it out loud and i will testify every words inside of that letter with the truth. The savings is what Mom's last wishes on both of her sons. She want us to have that money because she knew that was the best she can ever gave to both of us brother. Every single expenditure of her funeral from the coffin and the land to buried her, everything is from the effort of me. You did not even spent a cent and now you wanna come and ask for your part. Are you still a man?
Every father in this world try to give their best for their son. They love their son more than anything. But I don't know why you will envy of your own son. You told me after mom death u did not get anything. How about those SOCSO benefits you get? WHAT DA HECK ARE YOU SAYING?!!!
That day you called up me and told me all the old stories. How mom did badly towards you. I am angry but yet still stay calm. I have accepted Christ. I did want to have argument with you. Mom already no longer in this world. As long I knew love her and everyone in this world that she have touched on will remembered of her is already enough for me. I beg you as a son to ask a mercy from you as a father to sign. But you push to the limit. You said u will come back and whack me even kill me if have to because I being rude to you. Mr Chow Kar Eng , if u are reading this blog please keep in mind now. Last time I am afraid you because of Mom. But now she is no longer i need to worry because She is with my Lord now. 10 years ago if u threatened to hurt i might fear but now please do not test my anger. Remember we share the same blood. The anger and strength in you are also in my blood. I am stronger and free now. Now as i say I am living in God's way. I will not use violence against you. But please i beg you DO NOT TEST MY ANGER. You are 49 years old now. I am 22. Do not think that you are still strong and dominance on us. The only person I fear now is God and My Lord Jesus Christ.
"Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret-it leads only to evil"
Psalm 37:8